Boy's stuff is on the porch. (new boy picsPG2)

AW I'm sorry hunt i wish things were better! I'm gonna say sorry before i do it ok? -pushed him in a lake-
LOL try to find the bright side i hope all goes well.

I'm sure some people are thinking "how can she put this stuff on a forum"  RIGHT?  I've got alot of friends here and they sometimes (not ALWAYS but sometimes) come up with good advice.  I talked to him about staying in Memphis until the NH trip.  I think he would have but when I called his cousin she said it would have to be Monday because she's moving AGAIN.  And then he walked off.  I'm waiting to hear from the youth court counselor but it isn't looking good for boywonder.  I hope his head pops out of that butt pretty soon!

Hunter, 

I understand what you are saying. For me it was hard to talk with people close to me in my family or in my town. But I felt I could always share here. Even though so many of us have meet it still has a safety net.

I'm confused on what your lawyer has told you. There is no right answer anymore. What do they want you to do? Throw the 6 ft tall boy over your shoulder take him home and spank him? How do you keep them home when they care for nothing there. They have nothing left to take away because it has already been from there bad behavior. 

Notify the police he is gone. You have to legally do that. If they go after him, and they probably won't, he will always have the choice to refuse going home. And then it is up to the police take him to juvie or leave him alone. But then you have covered your butt. If he comes home and leaves again call the police again. This is the advise I got from CPS and the police here. Also the police told me to stop, stopping her from leaving. Let her go. (trying to restrain her) She isn't 11. And either is the boy. 

I just don't understand what all these kids are thinking!!! 

For the people who say they just need a good spanking, I know he got it, and for the people who say he just needs more love, I know he got it, and for the people who think there was no disapline, I know he got it. What more is there to do. Let him be a prodigal child. The father will take care of him. One way or another.....

Darn it,,, thought he was finally going to settle down. Shiver you sure have said it..... Couldn't agree with you more.  One day he is going to see the light, but only he knows when and how long it's going to take.. Hunter you have done soooooooooooooo much trying to help him...I think the ball is in his court and let him handle it the way he wants.... Just pray God watches over him and he doesn't get hurt too bad. It's like an addick they really have to hit rock bottom, before they ask for help. And then some won't ask.... But Jesus is on your side. Hang in there..

Beth I am sorry to hear this.  I had so hopped that he would come home and see how good it felt to do the right thing.  Between you and Jen I just don't know how you two have held up this long.  My hair would have been grey or pulled plum out by now.  I want you to know I have great respect for the both of you and how hard you have tried to put him on the right path. 
 
I can honestly say I have never been through what you have with a son, but I have been there with my real Mother.  Drugs and beer ruled her life for many years and though better now I still wonder if she realizes all the wonderful things that she missed.  I watch Matthew grow and wonder what his life will be like and I find myself watching her with him and I can't help but think that she has no clue as to what the rest of us went through.  We all tried so hard, but in the end it was the wreck and the good Lord that brought her from the brink of destruction.   If she reads this....We love you but its how I feel.
 
In the end I think it is time that brings them to realization.  The times that they missed, the loved ones they hurt and the pain and conflict that can never truly heal.  The worst thing is your road will be just as hard if not harder than his.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.  Hold strong and have faith.  Things will work out in the end.

I have a friend with no kids who always reminds me "They're taking advantage of you!" 
Uh-huh..... don't most parents feel taken advantage of at some point?
BUT when I really think about it I sort of want to sell my stuff, pack up and move and don't tell my kids where I went so they can't come sponge off me.  Isn't that awful?  I don't feel that way all the time.  I promise.  []
It's day 2 with no word from boy.  I think by Monday, if I haven't gotten him in check, I'll report him as a runaway.  I already sent word out on the redneck crackhead network so....  none of them want the law at their door.
 
Thanks, btw. []

Well, you always have a place to stay in Texas. And I'm not just talking about Harper. 

This sounds awful I know, but I couldn't have made it through the whole Sabin thing with out you. And knowing I wasn't the only mom out here trying so hard to save my kid and failing made me feel less like a failure. This has been the most stressful year of my life. Worse than the year of chemo hell. I have felt alone and abandoned. Afraid to be a parent to my other girls for fear of "messing them up to", as Sabin tell me. And if it wasn't for people like you Beth, knowing that I'm not alone, and that there is hope. I don't know what I would do. I came really really close to drinking. And know I now that would have been desaterious. So thank you for your's and everyone's support. 

Beth, I'm praying for you. For streghnth. For whatever tomorrow brings.



Darn spell check won't correct my words!!!!!

Thanks Jen.  Not sure you'd have room for all my "livestock" []  As one friend recently said "I'm not going to move across the country and sleep on someone's couch!"  No, my plans will be pretty solid by the time I pull up these deteriorating Memphis roots, where I've been for 20 years.  [:'(]
 
Guess who's sleeping in my 2nd guest room. []  Now to figure out how to make this work.  He's still leaning towards staying with his cousin in Memphis which means he is probably thinking he will be going on the NH trip, which is really what I've wanted.  His cousin still hasn't moved so he has to wait.

Not sure you'd have room for all my "livestock"

You might be right there. I already get Wow's over the livestock I keep in the house. Of course everyone wants to know if I ever saddle these ponies up for a ride. The sad thing is I think they are serious! These guys are the pets though. And part of the family. And their job is to keep us company, protect us, and make us happy. And they do a good job of it. In return I we give them love, attention, and food. They are content. and ALL of the animals i have ever owned where some sort of rescue. Maybe that is why I look at it differently I don't know. 

Hunter, in all seriousness, you need to start calling your place a rescue. Because that is what it is. You have such a big heart. I do love that about you.

When you first said guess who is in the second guest bedroom, my first thought was the cowboy. DAH!!! Jen. I'm glad the boy is home. He is trying to play both sides of the fence. Do what he wants but do enough to make you happy. Sabin was an expert at it. And you are one of the ones who told me not to let her get away with it. It is my way or the highway. I couldn't do it. And when I finally did she left because she was only here to get what she wanted anyways. Not because she wanted to be here. Does that make sense? I'm not saying to do things any different than you are. I would do it the same way again. Because you are always hoping if you give them one more chance... But just want you to keep in perspective his motives. I doubt he is doing this because he cares. He is most likely doing it to get what he wants. I guess I just said that about 100 times sorry.

Oh, and just because she is gone doesn't mean I don't want her back. I'll never let her live here again. But I so wish I could. I miss her so much. When she was feeling good she was so much fun to be with. I miss her desperately. We text from time to time. She refuses to go see anyone for help. She told me the other day she does not plan on going to collage. That about killed me! I got angry and told her good luck working at Mc Donald's her whole life. She won't be able to afford horses on that salery let alone a buy a car and have a decent place to live. She blames us for everything of course. She wants us to ship "her" dog to her. Sorry babe you left her and didn't look back for 8 months. She said the military life sheltered her... HOW?? She needs help.

Sorry, I shouldn't have posted that. It is about the boy not me. I pray you have better luck than I did. When I was little all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a mother. I always loved spending time with my kids and we did so much together. Now I'm confused... and lost as a mother. And I still have 2 more kids to go. Please pray for me also.

Just stumbled into this site and it sounds familiar. I don't know what is in our youth today. My heart feels for you as my daughter has a 17 yr old that we (notice I said WE) are having a time with. He has been raised different from this and in Church too. You can't seem to stay ahead of what they are going to do next. This Boy was gone for 2 wks this time and seems to feel smirky that he can not be found. He's home at the moment and the law enforcement is a joke with these areas. The friends that he has seem to think they can slum forever. I'm worn down to just praying "OK Lord he's in your Hands". He went from working etc to someone I feel we don't know and as a parent I can't help my daughter and her husband on this because we never had anything like this to deal with in my days. The bad part is there doesn't seem anywhere to get help unless you have Big Money.
 
 

The National Guard Youth Challenge Program DOES seem to have changed him.  When he called and came home last night I was really surprised who he ended up hanging with (big thanks to THAT kid's mom!) AND he seems sober.  Not every state has that program, but if yours does, lgrides, you NEED to get him in it right away!  He has to go voluntarily but it's got alot of fun and challenge to it.  It's 5 months long and it's federally funded.  All you have to spend is the initial cost of white socks, tshirts, etc, then the graduation fee, pictures, etc, AND they can take college classes (5) there if they play the game right.  (they'd have their GED before college starts)  It's an amazing experience.

Since you brought it up..... Is he still going on the NH trip??  I would love to go for a walk and talk with him.  You know me and kids that want to be turkeys, I just love them, yet want to kick them in the shins at the same time.
 
HUGS!!!!!

This Boy has a high school diploma and I'm not sure he can get in the program here but his Mom is getting him counceling and still looking at options. My problem is some of this has to be their willing to get away from these people too. One boy has parents that are just as bad and has made it a habit of using neighbors for money etc. I can't believe someone would be stupid enough to hand grown adults too lazy to work anything much less money but I 've been told this. So far he has been sober this weekend.

Wow Hunt.  I am sorry about all of this you are having to deal with.  I don't have any experience here, so I am no help.  Just know I am thinking of you and praying for the best outcome here for you. 
 
Marci

He came home today after being gone since Sunday, took a shower, ate a meal, grabbed a book off the shelf and read.  Those dogone hoodlums have destroyed him. [8|]