alright ideas anyone? horse is lonely and starting to misbehave

My only advice...when he tries to turn back pull the inside rein (my left is most comfortable, might be your right. Leave the outside rein loose) to your knee, and  move him in essentially a spin. Nudge, kicm, or spur with the outside foot. When he wants to stop, kick him on the outside and spin him a little more....then try moving the way you want to go again. If he tries to turn back, do it again. And again. And again. Until he moves where you want him to go. That's the first lesson. Let him rest. So long as he isn't turning back, you're the winner.
 
Then turn him back.
 
Next time, do the same thing, only go a little further. He should be better, but sometimes it takes a few times. Just don't let him go back. If he tries, spin  him until it's unpleasant, and he's ready to stand, or walk, the direction you're going.
 
When he does it, head back. But if he starts to get over-exhuberant, spin him again and go back the other way. Keep doing that until  he'll walk at a decent pace going home.
 
Sometimes that means you're going out a ways from home. You may travel away from home for an  hour before your horse is ready to head  home, at your bidding, at a decent pace.
 
Sometimes that means riding them on ouchy trails that won't allow them to move at an unacceptable pace. I'm not advocating riding horses on dangerous terrain..but if your horse is willing to act like a turd on grass, and not so likely on gravel and asphalt, move to the ashpalt and let them think about where they're putting their feet. They'll learn to trust you, and they won't be so willing to bolt.
 
 
 
 

How is his behavior on the ground?  Is he this unattentive and fighting pressure on the ground?  Has something happened?  Is this a sudden change, or slow progression?
 
Not wanting to be alone with you shows an insecurity on his part as well as the fact that he is not completely trusting you as his herd leader.  The horses first priorty is safety.  I like to keep my horses with other horses, but it is more for their own security when I'm not there.  I don't believe it is a full solution to the problem because we need to figure out why he has started such a strong defensive pattern.  Adding a rider to a mentally imbalanced horse is going to cause more physical strain and cause any patterns to be stronger.
 
Remember, in his mind, he is not trying to be bad, he is seeking safety and security.  I am not saying soothe and baby talk him at all, as that would be the last thing he needs, what he needs is leadership.  We often try to treat just the problem that is most obvious, but the truth is that problem has been building its way up to the breaking point for some time.  What we have to treat is the source of the problem.  A solid, stern, yet quiet and confident leader is what he needs.
 
Start with catching.  Is he giving you his complete attention in a calm way?  Does he crowd your space or is he skeptical about following you?  Can he stand perfectly quietly for grooming?  What type of background does he have?  Does his saddle fit?  Are there any hidden physical issues?  When the body is compromised in any way, the defensive patterns always get stronger.  We can work through obedience to "teach them a lesson", but the problem will always pop up again in the future.
 
Any companion would be helpful for him, even a goat would be helpful, and they are not expensive to keep.
 

thanks Allie, ill try some of that the next time i ride,
 
on the ground he pays attention and holds my focus, as long as i hold his, when his behavior goes a little south i adopt this harsh voice and he seems to understand that his behavior is unacceptable and he comes back and pays more attention, when i catch him he's perfect he actually falls asleep sometimes while im brushing and talking to him, it started all of a sudden, i think right before winter came, i know he feels frightened cause he's alone but right now we just cant afford any extra mouth even a goat, if i push something like a goat it just ends up as a family feud, and everyone is mad at each other for a while, personally im tired of knowing diablo is unhappy because he doesnt have a herd buddy but my grandparents dont really seem to get it, their answer is wet saddle blankets but im not a fan of that cause i think blindly running until my horse cant go anymore is pointless and gets nothing done, and is actually harmful to our relationship, not that i wont do it because i have i just think there is an easier way to accomplish the same thing,
diablo has never crowded me unless i let him in my bubble, he doesnt even crowd when i feed him, his background oh boy for two years before i bought him he was out in a pasture with i think four other horses and ridden once a week, thats about it, when i got him he was disrespectful, spooky, and frustrating, he has improved sooo much but this new behavior isn't anything like he was before nothing it's a completly new um state of mind i suppose you could say, his saddle does fit, im pretty sure, when he sweats alot while i ride there arn't any dry spots on his back, my uncle said that means it fits, i have no clue about that so,
i dont think there are physical issues, he doesnt have a limp or any cuts he doesnt act like he's out anywhere, he just acts.....excited, he loves to go riding and he loves to run and be with other horses, i think he likes to go riding with me i hope he does i try to be understanding of his feelings and his state of mind, and i try to avoid staying in an arena he's more of a trail type horse and likes to be out in the wilderness
ack i dont know
well thanks for the replies!!! happy thanksgiving!

Quite honestly, If I were you I would stop teasing him.  Either get him a pasture buddy or stop taking him over there.  In reality, he should listen to you around other horses, but you are letting him socialize TOO much by letting him socialize in the pasture.  Its like riding up to your neighbor's fence, eventually you won't be able to ride past other horses because he wants to visit.  He has learned that he CAN visit and EXPECTS to visit.  Like giving him sugar.
 
My horse was alone for years and she was just fine.  People say that horses get depressed but I don't think they do.  Ginger's pasture mate even died and she was fine until we got another one a year later.
 
If you HAVE to let him play with the neighbor's then I would suggest doing some groundwork, ie, making him lunge while the other horses are in the pasture or tied up nearby.  Lot safer than trying to do in under saddle.
 
In lew of that, I just read something in your post.  "wet blankets" is not running.  It is riding every day and demanding respect from your horse but its not "running".  If my gelding is disrespectful I will make him walk or trot back and forth along the fenceline until he starts listening to me.  That is my version of wet blankets.  If he doesn't want to do anything we start out maybe only going 10 -15 feet but we go back and forth until its the length of the fence and a couple figure eights thrown in.  He has a tendency to be cold backed sometimes.  Its a gelding thing if you ask me.

...alright i understand where your coming from summer, but i cant just stop going over to his buddies, those are his pasture mate's we live right next door there may be a fence dividing them but at night they are out together,
i have also asked my cousins if they wouldnt mind putting one of their horses over with my horse just until i can get another horse and that started a HUGE family war so im not going there again, i think i have an idea of what i need to do, i just need to find the time and the resources with which to do it,
 
thank you everyone for your imput!!

You don't want to circle him around by the gate (or where ever it is that you are entering and exiting from). Your first step is to get him off the bit. To do this start at a stop. Then drop your hands down to your knees, you want to have pressure on the reins (tighten up on your reins) hold your reins there until he drops his head and you will feel him come off the bit. Do not let him back up though. After you accomplish this walk him and keep your hands dropped you should feel him come off the bit. Also while you are going forward you want to drive him forward into the bit. To do this squeeze and keep squeezing with your calves that should push him forward then with the dropping of your hands and a tight rein, he will back off the bit. If he is not responding to your legs, put spurs on and gently tap hold the spurs in his sides. But don't kick him with the spurs. Now once you have accomplished this when you get to the spot that he wants to take off or stop on you, anticipate him, and drive him forward into the bit with your hands dropped. You will find that after he learns to drop his head and back off the bit, that all you'll have to do to keep him light in the mouth is check him back (to do this you don't have to drop your hands just lightly bump the reins and he should come right off the bit. If this doesn't work please email me at  47shazams@gmail.com and I will tell you another way to get him off the bit. But putting him in tight circles might work for awhile but it is causing another bad habit and is not solving the problem. Please try my advice and get back to me. This not being lonely it is being buddy sour.

Stop letting him run with the other horses. He's made a connection and you need to break it, and that's the best way. Just stop it.
 
And when  you ride him, just ride him out of it. Get on him, ride him out. If he acts ugly, I wouldn't mess with his mouth, just keep pushing him forward and out of the situation until he's focusing forward instead of back towards what he's leaving behind.
 
One of the best pieces of advice I ever had regarding horses was this...if they're having an issue, push them through it. Just ride them. Just ride your horse. Don't fight him, just sort of keep your eye (literally, look ahead) on the prize and push him through and keep going. If you're looking back over your shoulder, he's going to look back, too. Just keep eyes ahead, body that way too, hang on, reins easy, and push him past it.
 
It always works if you do it right, I kid you not. If he tries to spin and go back, circle  him then push him on. In a few seconds you'll be past all the triggers and he'll be moving forward like a champ. Try not to make it a fight, because in a fight, sorry, he weighs at least 900 lbs (I'm thinking small horse here) up to 1500.....and he'll win. Don't fight. Just take over.
 
It's the same with kids. You can't physically master them, you realize when you have them in mid-life. You just have to move forward and assume they'll follow or do as they're asked. Generally they will, if  you expect them to.
 
Other than when they're two-five. Then it's all about physical exertion. Not pleasant. I'm talking kids. For horses, that's "growing time". If you have the option, put 30 days on them at 2, turn them out for a year, put 60 days on them, ride them for a year and let them rest for a year.
 
But I digress.
 
Sit on your horse and don't fight him and just push him past whatever is holding him up. If he's sour, relax (you have to do it consciously, it's not easy) in the saddle, relax on his mouth, and don't anticipate and DON'T LOOK BACK at whatever it is that's drawing him back. Look where you want to go. Double him if he spins backwards....if he tries to back up, back him until  he's tired of it, then off you go to the races. Always fun, always cheerful, never fearful, always assuming "we're going down that road over that hill and behind the dump! It will be fun!"

PS...I'm 45 years old, haven't ridden but a few times in the last 7 years, have a sour Arab and I can do this. If I can do it, anyone can. Mind over matter. Horses  have itty bitty brains, and miles of nerve endings and emotions up the butt. You just have to psyche them out. Assume command. Do it by being as soft handed as possible. Pretend everything they do is your idea. If they start backing (my mare's favorite trick) then it's like, "Hey, let's back up fast for 30-40 feet". Then keep going. If they try to spin back, it's "Hey, let's spin in circles till you're a little dizzy.." then keep going. If they're spooky, "Hey, it's fun to jump sideways 15 feet, and on we go!"
 
I've ridden many horses that took 5-10 miles to wear the edge off. Just ride your horse off his edge. Get him away from his trigger and push him forward. Enjoy the ride, pay attention to the horse, it's not a merry go round. As he ages and if you get him truly tired a few times, he'll learn to conserve that energy.

And a reminder...the Gangaweed (the horseback killers of Darfur) ride their (war) horses without bridles. While killing people, who are fighting them.
 
Likewise, the bedoins and the Mongols put their children on unbroke horses and expect them to ride...and they do. There's no "my horse won't leave the herd" about it, it's just an accepted way of life, and nobody questions it.
 
Don't ask your horse for direction. You are the director.
 
It's a tough lesson. I'm a passive person. It took me decades to figure it out. Good luck with it.
 
And here's a pic:
 

 
No hands, ma.

Notice where they're looking?
 
Ahead, always ahead....and no tension on the reins. Actually, no hands on the reins, either.
 
These guys sometimes  have favorite  horses, but traditionally, they just grab a likely one out of the herd, get ogether at holidays and do this crap with horses who have no idea what's going on. No  one has spent years with them teaching them this.