How to talk to an appy mare

I have found that while draft crosses are quiet and arabs are fiesty, horses are basically horses, when it comes to basic instinct, reaction and whathaveyou.  So I don't pay alot of attention to 'arabs are psycho' or 'appys are dull,' cuz that comes from people who would rather place judgement than figger it out.
 
If your mare is turnin her butt to you, then you do NOT have alpha.  Honestly, I had a horse that nothin seemed to fix certain issues with him, until I started spending alot of UNFOCUSED time with him.  I would hang out in the pasture with him, sit in the grass and just 'hang'.  At first he ignored me, but I soon started noticin that he started to graze near me, and if I moved somewhere else, he would mosey over that way.  I also started takin him for walks, lettin him graze for periods of 30 and 45 minutes, and pretty much nothin else for the day.  But I tell them where to graze, if they try to graze and I haven't 'told' them (to point to the ground with my lead rope is how I do it) I just move them, they can't graze if they are movin.  If they lower their head anyway, they get 'motivated' (click and swing the rope behind me to come near their flanks while I am still pointed forward.)  But to spend time where you ain't tellin them what to do made some SERIOUS improvements on his attitude.
 
Now, you could go with the 'give them a treat when you first greet them in the pasture' thing, but like you I rather the behavior NOT be food-motivated.....
 
Maybe this mite help you, too, if you have the time to spend with the mare like that.  It was really the only thing that helped me with that gelding.  He would do what you asked, but he was always distant, and quick to 'turn his back'.  He has made an about face, he comes up to me in the pasture and hasn't shown me his backside in some time. 
 
But sometimes you just hafta accept that some horses' personality isn't one of affectionate or cuddly types, and they can't be faulted for that.  I have had some horses that were distant no matter hwat I did, so alot of it depends on the 'horsenality'...
 
Best of luck!

Welcome to the forum.  I'm glad you are asking questions because one of the reasons first trys offten fall through is lack of understanding.  
 
As for the turning her rump to you if she is in a stall or small paddock(best in a round pen) you can do this too.  Take you lead rope and halter and walk up to her as though going to catch her.  When she turns her rump to you, right then, use the end of the lead to smack her on the hind.  Just as another horse might kick or bite her for testing their space. 
 
Give her a second and watch her reaction.  Did she turn to look at you as though "What they heck are you doing?" or did she trot off.  If she turned to look at you then step up and rub her face, if she turns again, use the lead line again. 
 
If she troted off the keep her moving till she wants to stop then make her move some more until it is no longer her idea but yours.  She needs to think that if she doesn't get caught she is going to have to work even harder than if she just comes to you.  When she does come to you really rub all over her and take some time to make getting caught enjoyable. 
 
If you wanted to you could then turn her loose once more and walk away, then turn and go up to her again to catch her.  Just keep repeating until she just drops he head and comes to you.
 
Since you are starting this on your own, try and get your hands on as much info as possible.  Take to heart what you can use and are comfortable with then put it to good use.  I recomend Clinton Anderson's round penning DVD, Craig camerons Back To Basics DVD...well really any of theirs is good.  My Jan training article on here talks about getting your horse soft and supple in a rope halter and then in the bridle.  Might be something there you could use.
 
Good luck and stay safe.