Just got done talking to Mom and had to indulge in a Coke float (same as root beer float only with coke.) She wasn't crying but she was upset as I knew she would be thus the phone call. she had to go to a visitation this evening for one of my distant cousins but we all grew up together, her kids and me. I still havn't called my Real Father yet to tell him or see if he knew she was gone, he thought a lot of her as she was the only one in the family that would talk to him about how I was doing for years before he finally bit the bullet and gave me a call after 23 yrs. Not sure I want to tell him....
9 yrs ago her son was visiting some friends down the road and was headed home on the 4-wheeler. A police officer came up behind him. We never knew if Levi sped up or if the cop just hit him to stop him we will never know but he did hit him and caused Levi to leave the road and go over a steep enbankment near the creek. The cop left without calling it in and then realized someone might have seen him so he went back but even with people there now he failed to attempt to revive him and Levi died there. The coroner said that his injurys were not imidiatly fatal and that if he had recived help he would have survived.
She nearly lost her mind over that. For years we talked her down (Mom and others) from suiside, terrible ranting at the Lord only to spend days knelt on the floor begging forgivness. Her daughter had 2 kids of her own and over the years things calmed down greatly for her but we all knew she just didn't want to be here anymore. She went into gall bladder surgery and never came out. Drs said that they worked on her for 2 hours but she just wouldn't come back for anything.
On the piece of paper that has the names of family and services they had printed one of her poems. Mom said that it spoke of the day Levi died and that the world no longer held any light. that each day the smile on her face fooled us into thinking she was alright. That the hope on the face of others only brought tears to her eyes and darkness to her thoughts.
She wrote it only a few years ago, while we thought she was better. What a dark world hers must have been. She was ready.....