a  few weeks ago  i was going to work and noticed my mare hadnt come out to the fence near the drive way as usuall. but i figured she was elsewhere munchig grass. as i drove down the drive way which is long and runs adjacent to part of the pasture i saw her lying in the grass. i knew immediately she was dead even before i got to her.
when i got their she was ripped open from the neck and chest and had apparently bled to death. we had a bad storm with much lightning crashing around the place the night before. and apparantly at some point she had gotten so terrified at the  lightning she had began running uncontrolably and torn down the electric fence in several places as the ribbon was laying stretched out in places on the ground. but what had killed her was that she had ran into our tractor with much force and ripped herself wide open. there is an  arm that holds the mowing deck on and apparently she hit the arm-may have slid up over the mower deck when she hit it. and it tore her open. i was so distraut all i could do was scream and cry. i cancelled work.  and i have cried so much since then and am depressed. i hate to go out side or even look out the window. i catch ,myself looking for her(and so does my husband also) and  thinking it's about feeding time, i love her and miss her so much. and no one except for my husband seems to realize how bad loosing her  has hurt me.  so i thought of you guys here on the forum. you know what she meant to me. especially those of you who have lost your beloved horses. she was my first hores. we lost her colt in the winter. but this really just about got me. the saddest thing is my husband blames him self for moving the tractor to a different spot in the pasture(where it usually sits) a couple days before she ran into it.also i keep remembering i usually went and  petted her if not fed her or tended her  in some manner when i come home each evening or  night if it was only for a moment. but that evening before i was either tired or in a hurry-really dont remember and didnt go to her as usual since my husband had fed her already. and i cant help thinking i wasted the last few minutes with her i could have had.  even if a vet had been there at the moment she was injured i dont feel they could have saved her. but i  feel so bad and i miss her so much. i cant hardly stand to see a horse picture right now even.  just thought you guys would understand. guess i needed to talk about her agin to someone else.
 
I will always love you and miss you Horsey girl. and no other horse willever  be you.