I really need someone to talk to...

Probably 90% of the people are going to hate what I'm about to say.  You may be one of them but it bears saying.

There is NO ONE (not one person) in history, now or ever who God loves MORE than he loves you.  Just say this "There's no one God loves more than your name here".  If you allow him residence in your heart and start focusing inward to be the person he designed you to be.... the person he knew you could be before you were even born... before the world was even created HE KNEW YOU!  You are so precious and important.  Don't dwell on what the world thinks you should do.  If you do things God's way you will be going the right way, no matter what path he leads you down. 

There are 2 kinds of really good riders.  There are those who come by it naturally.  I hate those kinds. []  Then there are those who work really hard to get better and better.   You can be a good rider.  Anyone can.  Don't get discouraged.  Do your best always.

Beth couldnt have said it better!  As far as doing what you think is right, its your desicionn don't forget.  I tried living my life the way everyone thought it should be for a very long time and it was heartbreaking and lonely dispite having a few close friends that tried real hard to understand.  When I decided to let go and be myself i was amazed at how easy it was and how oddly happy it made me feel.  You will be too.  I never went to college because I had no idea what I wanted to do and I knew that what ever it was had nothing to do with school.
 
Be true to yourself and things will come naturally.  Each of us have a path at our feet but sometimes I think its up to us how winding it ends up being.  We all get to a point in life where it feels like we are backed up against a wall, but there is always a way out if you look up! 

There are many successful people out there who don't have a college degree.  I know it's hard, but try not to compare yourself to everyone else but no one else is living your life.  As long as you are doing something that keeps you independent, that's great!
 
One of the most successful tack stores around here is called Thrifty Horse.  They sell new and consignment tack and run quite the business.  If you can, find a successful business and go visit them.  As long as you're not direct competition, I bet they'd be thrilled to have you as a shadow and share some tricks of the trade.  You could also maybe start out as an online tack store, selling people's tack.  I have no idea how to post pictures, list my stuff for sale online so if you drew up business cards and knew how to do it, maybe you could start out that way.
 
Sometimes it is hard to start over with a baby but I find as I get older, I have more patience.  That doesn't mean I don't look back with longing at my eventing horse who used to jump anything but I also think, who really cares how high I can jump?  My friends and horse certainly don't.  My goal is to enjoy riding and be safe.  Try to really think about why you want to be such an advanced rider and think about whether your reasons are really worth worrying about.  Anyone who only sees your worth by how good a rider you are, isn't worth being friends with.
 
Sorry about the horse being put to sleep   Hang in there on the friends.  Life changes, friends do move on at times but you do have your best friend   Maybe you need to find people who ride at your level, instead of competing, etc.  I highly doubt you are a horrible person   Anyone who loves and is kind to horses has to be a good person!!  Sometimes it's better not to have a bunch of friends, but just a few really good ones.
 
You are not a failure in life if your horse loves you!!

Well my two cents is this.  If you want to reach your dream, work towards that dream.  Take the steps day by day that will lead you there.  Then if the opportunity opens up you can take it, but if you aren't ready with the knowledge you need it will never happen.  So, what can you do now that will help you reach the goal of having your own shop?  What education would help you run that shop?  These are only questions you know the answer to, but they do bear some consideration. 
 
I personally at 48 am starting over after a 26 year marriage.  I am attending community college working toward on accounting and business classes.  Not entirely what I think I would love to do either but those are things that no matter what area of life I'm in will be useful tools. 
 
Friends are an interesting subject to say the least.  I like having a close friend but quickly found after high school that you don't have the same kind of time to devote to a friendship as you did when you were young.  This is even more true once you have kids.  You have so many other things going on in your life it becomes difficult to add something else, although a good friend is always worth.  If you want more friends the best way to do that is to become a better friend yourself, which will mean you putting in the work.  Communicating with your current friends and new friends, making time for them, etc... 
 
Anyway, I guess it all comes down to taking the steps you think will make you happy.  For years I too lived my life trying to please everyone else and lost with them, other people are never happy with you, and lost with myself.  The only way to win happiness is to be who you are, be true to yourself and let the rest fall where it may.  At least when you do that you win somewhere in your life instead of lossing everywhere. 
 
Hang in there.  This is a bad stage in your life.  It will pass and a good stage will come along in the carousel of life. 
 
If you have a spiritual mind, listen to Hunterseat.  God love mankind more than anything else and he will make it evident to you if you listen to him.

I remember being 23... I'm only 25 so it's not much of a stretch.  Let's see, 23 I dropped out of college, was living 300 miles away from home, exisiting on a shoestring budget, I'd only been in town for a year so I didn't have many friends, I was living in a town of about 8,000 people.  All the girls, except one, I'd met who were over the age of 21 had children some married, some not.  I lived alone in a crappy apartment with my cat,  I ended up working at a gas station (I have a college degree).  I had no idea what I ultimately wanted to do with my life (still don't).  My old friends were going to grad school or law school and preparing to get high paying jobs.  My new "friends" (except the childless one) were too tied up in their family life/responsibilities to be much fun, and some of them were just mean.  I put up with it though b/c I was lonely.
And, I wish I could tell you some Disney story about how I'm now married to the most wonderful man on earth, have a house, and horses, and dogs, and I'm living the dream. 
But, this is real life.  I'm still 300 miles from home, I have a real career now (of my coworkers I'm the only one who's been to college...so don't sweat not having a degree), even though I'm not rich I'm not starving anymore and I've been able to buy nice things for myself (within reason).  I've added another cat, dog, and horse to my menagierie, I live in a tiny house with a tiny yard with my boyfriend.  My one childless friend has a kid now.  I still don't have many friends but I have learned to really relish my "me" time.  My old friends finished thier grad school and law school and now can't find any jobs.  One of my lawyer friends just had to take a job that pays less than what I make.  She's been out of school for 9 months...
 
My point is, you have to take it day by day.  Count each little victory as it comes and let the bad stuff roll off your back.  I know it's tough, I was just there.  As long as you take little steps to improve your situation eventually you'll get there. 
I'm still muddling along myself, but it does get easier.  You'll figure it out.
Just keep on keeping on.

first *hug*
second
i'm only 16 and dont have alot of life experiance but i just though i would say you're not a failure until you give up, ups and downs are all over the place and you'll figure it all out im sure
*hug* another hug im feeling huggy today lol
 

Find what you most want to do, and do it, no matter what. And in the doing, be guaranteed a very difficult -- and a very happy -- lifetime.

jadesong, glad to meet you i am new here, i suffer from depression with meds it is better. sounds like to me if you feel this was very much you should see a doctor. the doc can help you find out for sure. and if you do have depression then the right meds can make all the difference.
you have gotten good advice here- like some one said take it to the lord-first and formost. then see  a doc. perhaps you need some new friends. consider your interests and hobbies-see where you could meet others that have the same intersts-then make time for the people you wish to be with and dont be afraid to reach out to others like you did here. chances are others in your life may be feeling the same way.  dont waste time on interests and people you are really not  into-dont  mean that to mean but some friendships sometimes need to be let go-bad as that sounds for whatever the reason they may not be good for you.
 with exploring your  interests you may make some new connections -and friends-that may help you decide how to further persue your dreams. college isnt a cure all. if it isnt for you  thats ok.
but dont ever give up on your dreams do what you can to work towards them. then if they dont turn out to be as you wished you may be led in a diferant direction. from experiance i know you must live for yourself or you will never be happy. there are free monies out their to start small buissnesses and grants, ect..
 
  you have the advantage on some#1-you know what you want to do and where --do some research on that subject. go meet others in that industry-maybe work in it for awhile.- you might make some contacts and some new friends. also #2-you have the advantage of being young.  youth allows you to try many diffrent things before you get older and bogged down by responsibilities that may hold you back. you are only limited by your self and imagination.
one more thing, i often feel as i have few really good friends and  distance, lack of time, and circumstances seperate us. but my best and sometimes i feel-(when i am down and doubting everything especially) only friends is my husband and  the lord. ask god to guide you. live for yourself.   good luck and keep posting. nice to meet you- i know i go on forever-sorry,annie.

Great answer, annie!! []

Hang in there!  I'm only 25, but I've felt the same way many times.  I call is PPD or Pity Party Day.  =-)  You wouldn't be human if you didn't get sad every now and then. 
 
I started college Pre-Med and after a year I quickly swtiched over to Criminal Justice.  I basically went through the list of majors offered by the college and picked the easiest one (for me). 
 
After graduating college I stayed in Columbus, Ga where I went to school, it was 3 hours from home and I thought that was awesome.  I worked a few odd jobs here and there and took each opportunity as a learning experience.  In Feb. 2008 I was offered my dream job.  I worked as a stable hand at a very nice barn only 20 minutes away.  I was in heaven!!  I was able to work around amazing horses, and had the opportunity to watch former olympians ride at the horse trials we hosted.  Even though I was scooping poop and sweating buckets, I was happy!
 
However, after only a few months I started catching hell from my family and friends because I didn't have a 'real job.'  It was hard to not have their support, but I always knew I was doing what I love.  After only a year at the barn I had to leave because the paychecks were bouncing and the atmosphere at the barn made it a very unpleasant place to work.  Not to mention that my then boyfriend and I were having major problems.  I only had one option and that was to pack up and move home.  So I broke up with the boyfriend, packed up myself, bulldog and pony and moved back home. 
 
I was devastated.  Here I was a college graduate, two years out of college and no "real" work experience to put on a resume.  I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself, but then I realized that even though I may not be happy where I am, I have to make the best of it.  I got a job as a Juvenile Probation Officer and I was finally able to move out of my parents house.  Did I mention how hard it is to move back into your parents house after living on your own for five years?  Oh the fun!! haha 
 
  I board my pony in the next town over and I get to see her more now than I ever have before and was given a 4 year old Gelding to train.  On New Years Eve 2009 I had to make the decision to put down my new horse for colic.  For me, it was the hardest decision I have ever had to make.  Even though my family was there supporting me, I felt so alone because all my friends live out of town.  I took peace in knowing that I made the right decision for him, even though it was not what I wanted to happen.   
 
There isn't a day that goes by that I do not daydream about winning the lottery and opening my own barn.  I know only horse people can understand how scooping poop can be a dream job, but right now I have to think about the bills and my future.  
 
 
 I guess the whole point of my long winded story is that you have to learn to be happy with yourself, no matter what life throws at you.  I never in a million years dreamed I would be living in podunk Vidalia working as a Juvenile Probation Officer, but I know that God has a plan laid out for me. 
 
 It has taken a long time for me to stop being so stubborn and realize that God truly knows best.  Take each day as a chance to learn and grow and before you know it, you will be happy again! 
 
An amazing priest once told me.  "No matter what happens, always say, 'Oh well, I still have Jesus."'  Truer words have never been spoken.  =-) 

vidalieagrl it's so nice to see you.  I'm so sorry about your gelding.  Wow, that would be so difficult!  I hope you had friends to support you and give you hugs.

Thank you hunterseat...It is nice to be back.   Now that I think about it, the vet was the only one who gave me a hug.  There were only two friends I really wanted to see, one that lives a few hours away and tried to come back, but couldn't get off work; the other....well that's a long story, but he suddenly became "busy".  I avoided my family all together until I knew I wouldn't cry if they brought it up. 

Sometimes it's not a bad thing to cry.  You can kick your other friend in the shin for me next time you see him.

Well it sounds like you have a wonderful vet!