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  • Salutations Horse.com users
    I have recently acquired a horse from one of the local stables, but I feel unable to house it outside. I am highly religious (more specifically, I believe in reincarnation), and recently lost my father. My fathers favourite food was spaghetti bolognaise, and when I found that this new horse was also particularly partial to a plate of the old Italian recipe, my suspicions were aroused. More recently, I have had a local religious leader in to appraise my horse, and he assures me that it contains the soul of my recently departed father.
    To this end, I want to ensure that his life at my house is as comfortable as possible, and I was wondering whether anyone on this lovely board had an experience with horses living in domestic conditions? By domestic conditions, I mean a bathroom or kitchen, we certainly wouldn#%92t want him living in one of our bedrooms- yuck! Think of the mess! Nightmare material…
    Also, (and whilst I#%92m here), I want to enquire about a horse#%92s dietary requirements. I have heard that they mostly eat oats and sugar lumps, but I was wondering whether it would be suitable for a horse to partake in our families sit down meals? My father was always there, and it would be very comforting for my children if his soul could continue to be nourished at the same time as our bodies. One of my family#%92s favourite meals is Spanish chicken, and I was enquiring as to the suitability of this meal for a horse. Would they have trouble getting the chicken off the bone? What if we were to bone the chicken before hand? Also, are there any particular relishes that a horse prefers?
    Lastly, I want to enquire about my horse#%92s bedding. My dogs both have cages in the kitchen, and I was wondering whether it would be appropriate to build my father a similar device. Naturally I#%92m squeamish about putting my father#%92s soul in a cage, but I want what is best for both him and the horse. Perhaps a horse box in the kitchen would be more practical? That way, whenever the horse wanted air, we could just take him out in the car [walks are out of the question, we live in inner city London].
    Thanks for any advice,
    Ted Newton (a horse fanatic)
  • This is a joke, right?
  • Dear Ted,
    If you are lucky enough to have your father back with you, why on earth would you be feeding him what your snot nosed children like to eat?  For goodness sake man, get him more pasta!  Actually, I believe the correct spelling is Bolognese, not bolognaise.  I was a chef to Catherine de Medici in one of my past lives so I am relatively sure of that.  Anyway, if you debone the Spanish chicken, your father should be able to eat it without a problem.  Do you serve it over rice? 
    My dog is the reincarnation of my Russian grandmother, who was very fond of Beluga caviar.  Unfortunately for poor Mopsy, I can only afford Sevruga!    The vet has warned me that grandmother's addiction to caviar is killing Mopsy (her sodium levels are through the roof) but what can I do?  It keeps grandmother happy!    Her reincarnation was made known to me by my psychic and confirmed by my animal communicator.  Who knew all the thousands I spent with them would turn out to yield such a rich reward!
    Good luck with your father! If he were my father, I would turn him loose and let him be the man-horse nature intended.
  • lololol....

    I say put the poor man down. Who wants to do that life again. And if he came back as an old horse and not some sexy young batchalor he somehow made the wrong turn on his way back. I think another do over is in order.... 

    Where did our troll smilie go???

  • Oh yes Cat. That one works.

    It's kind of fun though. We haven't had one in so long! lol
  • This one wasn't so bad, but there are others that can pop up that I would prefer to do without.  LOL.
  • I can think of several that love to make trouble. I wonder if they still have those computer id numbers( don't know what they are called) Or if we need to start over with the trolls.

    Just thought... Because there are no rules posted anyone can come on and do anything... sad.
  • You mean ISPs?  Who knows.  We could be in for an interesting ride.
  • Yes, I think that is what I mean. 

    A troll is a troll though. And most are spotted easly. Like this one. So I don't think it should be to much of a problem.

  • Probably not.  Still find the thought of a pasta & chicken eating horse funny.
  • I would love to see THAT picture. 

    Oh, a horse who isn't a vegetarian. interesting.
  • I think Toby would try - he tries to eat everything.  I just don't think he would be feeling too well afterwards.  [:'(]
  • I bet not. I wonder if it would actually be bad for them? It isn't in there regular diet. They are prey animal not pretidor so they wouldn't naturally eat chicken.
  • Frankly I am appalled with the disbelief and null support that has been offered by Horse.com users.
    Many thanks however to The Old Grey Mare who has offered sound advice as to the preparations I must undergo in serving Spanish Chicken, and the correction of the spelling of Bolognese. I apologise for the poor spelling and grammatical form I utilise, as I am of Norse origin and have only recently studied the English language. I am unclear of the definition of "Snot nosed" and request that perhaps you could shed some light as to the meaning of this bizarre term? In reply to your request as to whether I serve the Spanish Chicken over rice, yes! It is most delightful on the tongue is it not?
    I am disappointed with the general community and to being referred to as a creature dwelling below bridges with a diet consisting of Billy Goats. I can assure you that I am indeed human, despite the reincarnation of my father issue.
    I would greatly appreciate any sound advice that could be offered by other Horse.com users other than Jungle Cat and Shiver; unless they care to offer a full apology for the abuse I have received.
    Yours incredibly sincerely,
    Ted Newton