i killed my colt

soi thought this is it he will now do better, he kept eating and i still penned him alot as it was cold-gave him warm water, encreased the food, ect.. still allowed him to nurse when he was  outw/momma as i didnt have enough room to stall them together. so i thought he was slowly starting to do better. but one day i let him out and he wouldnt hardly nurse at all or eat, he walked stiff legged and stumbled so i new it was bad. i went started calling vets all around us agin- one was to call me back and tell me if she would come out to us-so i was inside couple-3 hrs. (as i was alone and didnt have any one to wait for a call from the vet.)  awaiting the call. finally no call so i go out to check him and he is down agin and its raining now. i call my neighbor lady and between us we drag him to the barn, put him inside dry him off and agin try to go through the same process of saving him-this time he is really bad. i start calling vets agin as she stays w/him. one vet said take his temp-it was 69 and vet said i needed to get it up  to a hundred  to save him,and i rechecked  and it was falling.  short story he died after several sad hours. the mamma was really distraught for a while. but doing better now. i later realized this little fellow should have been running and jumping and playing  all the while if he was well. dont know how i missed all the signs. but he was proabaly wormy too lending to being malnourished. the vet said he should have been eating maybe three times more than we were feeding him in grains and feed, and corn and sweet feed should have been ok if i had fed more. but i listened to everyone saying be careful you cant grain them much but very little as they will founder/colic. even other horse owners warned me about over graining him. but i assumed as he ate grass still when snow wasnt on and all the hay he wanted and nursed he was doing well. but i learned a really hard lesson. and will never forgive  myself for this. everyone said i didnt know so not to blame myself as i knew nothing of rearing a colt.  but i know i should have known. it was my responsibility. and i prided myself on all the reading research,advice and all i got. i realized too late what was wrong although there could have been more wrong. but i slacked in his care and paying  enough attention to him after i got the new job and was away so much more. but it was still my fault. dont know if i can ever try raising a colt agin. i feel very ashamed.
 i messed up on this post title as i was oroiginally going to ask a question about something else and forgot to change the title after i started typing. not sure if the moderators can change it or put it into the right forum. please do so if you can. i will cal this : "i killed my colt.' if you can change it for me. i will await to see. thanks for the help. hope it is possible. any way i learned a hard lesson. and i gotta figure away that i and others in our area-who have the same problems at getting vets and farriers where we live- can get some vet care around here. i feel so bad i think i should maybe give my mare to someone else before i harm her with ignorance.  .....annie234.

i think i corrected title-still in wrong thread-sorry.

Oh no.  I'm so sorry Annie!!  You weren't prepared for a baby but you never meant to have one.  I know you probably won't forget the feeling.  I'll never forget running over my own beloved dog.  There are things that just stick with us.  But was it intentional?  No.  Forgive yourself and learn.   It's possible something was wrong with the baby anyway or it's possible that other foals would have thrived at your house.  Without a vet, who really knows?

I know you're new but having a means to haul horses to vets is a wonderful thing.  I haven't had a trailer too long and I have horse neighbors who've helped me out in the past.  I wish we could give you a group hug.  You deserve it!!! 

Now get out there and do the best you can for that beautiful mare!!!  Ya gotta move on.  And she needs you.

I'm so sorry you lost your colt. I know how much that hurts. I strongly suspect there was something else wrong with the colt; if he was still nursing his mother, he shouldn't have died of malnutrition even without supplemental feed.
 
It's a shame the vets wouldn't come out to help. You might want to find a new vet, or find someone willing to haul your horse to the vet clinic next time.
 
Don't beat yourself up about it. Like Hunter said, live and learn.

Sorry to hear of your loss. I know the pain of loosing an animal. I know you live far out but maybe you need to form a relationship with a vet so you can get advice and care from them. Anyway, don't get down on yourself.

Look at it this way, next time you will be prepared because you'll intend on the pregnancy, and you will do your research before and during the pregnancy, I wouldn't have fed the little one grain at all, maybe a creep feed made for foals still nursing. DON'T beat yourself up. Really you did the best you could, and it was really stupide that none of the vets came out, I have a friend who's foal ran into a wood fence and sliced and artery and the filly bled out in her arms, and no vet ever came, and there was nothing she could do to stop the bleeding. Give yourself time to let your wounds heal dear, they will and that very same friend is rebreeding her mare this month. EVERYONE makes mistakes, but its pointless unless you learn from them, heal, learn, and move on when your ready. If you ever need any advice feel free to talk to me, but also check out thehorse.com, they have SO much useful articles. Take care, LinaeW.

thanks guys, you are nice but  i still feel terrible. that colt came at a time in our life we really needed lifting up and he was really a blessing then. i had just had the shock of my life and was very beaten dow, plus i had been worrying about the colt comming and if she would need help if she had complications. i watched for all the signs and read everything  to look for for the empending delivery. but she never let on when she was close. the next morning there he was trailing behind his momma on those little skinny legs of his and all nice and dry and clean and shinny he was absolutely beautiful. my husband was yelling  at me to come out side and when i saw him i just ran and kept saying 'OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD".  i was in my underware but i didnt care who saw me i had to see him. and it was such a special time we were both so happy. and didnt want to leave him. he was so wonderful and she was such a good momma. he mimmicked her actions which i never knew a foal would do. he pretended to eat grass,hay-even when he couldnt but he saw and did what she did. it was so funny and he was gorgeous. 
i cant beleive 5 months later he died. and i know i should have figgured out what was wrong sooner. but i didnt. it has been a really rough time for us due to circumstances we are dealing with and we were so beaten down when he died. it still brakes our hearts to see his pics. even. but he was a blessing for a while anyway.
 i really did try every vet i could around here. but i and other horse owners and people around w/live stock have  no vets who are willing to come to us as we are so far away from everywhere. many of the vets here do not do large animal services. it is even hard to get a farrier to come regularly. i once paid a guy 200.00 to farier the mare. plus set up 2 other appointments for him in our area that day. and he was supposed to charge me the 200.00 for a long distance travel and farier job and everyone else just  the farier fee. which is normally about 35.00 here, so he charged each of us 200.00 a peice. he made 600.00 that day for 4 horses and one he didnt even trim because it wouldnt let him. and i dont beleive any one even had him to shoe their horses. i believe they all go barefoot. so we all  got screwed(my part  i didnt care) as her feet were done and i was releived. but he never called or returned agin-ashamed i guess. since then it has been hard to find a farrier even.   but i do have a friend who will let me use his trailer if i need it. i beeleive i will get up a list of names and take them to a vet if i get enough and see if we can get something set up for one to have a clinic for vacines,ect. ever so often in our area. maybe if we get enough in our area to make it worth while they will come to us. and perhaps maybe then if we have an emergency they will help us. worth a try i guess.
linaew, thanks for the offer of help and a chat. i may take you up on it. and i read the forum alot and everyone  here seems to give good advice. thanks guys. see  ya later.annie234.

You know what?  You are not the first person who has been surprised about the condition their horse is in underneath their winter coat.  My mare had a pretty nasty case of rain rot one winter, she was lying down on top of manure and her girth area STUNK.  You don't think to go out and brush a horse in 20 degree temps, but its a good idea to do so, because you will feel their ribs and check the overall coat condition, ie, the girth area etc.  So don't beat yourself up over that.
 
A forum administrator (not this one) found out her pony was underweight one winter when she finally checked underneath its blanket.  That pony also died from kidney malfunction.
 
I would not have been feeding a weanling or young horse sweet feed.  My guess is that you should have wormed both of them but I am no expert on that.  Its nice to have a trailer to haul horses to vets when needed.  The vaccinations, well, I don't think we ever vaccinated a horse for anything other than Rabies when I was a kid, but that was apparently the dark ages.  Never lost a horse though.
 
Perhaps in the future you might look into finding a trailer that you could at least use in emergencies.  There is a horse trainer in my area that will haul horses for a fee.  Something to look into.
 
Sorry to hear about your loss.

Hi Annie,

Adding my commiserations and also support to you that you shouldn't blame yourself. It's a perfectly understandable emotional response, but not a rational one. You weren't prepared for a foal & didn't expect to have one so suddenly. It sounds like you did your homework, did your best to learn how to care for him - don't kick yourself because you didn't know better than to take bad advice. Unfortunately it seems that if you ask the advice of 3 different horsepeople, you'll get at least 6 conflicting opinions! The best any of us can do is to do what we think right based on the knowledge we have.... and keep learning, analyse what we are taught & stay open minded. And finally, if you had no veterinary help either, you're in a difficult predicament. I also think that there may have been something else wrong with him that was unrelated to his management.

Regarding the specifics, I agree that grain & sweet feed is not generally healthy, and corn is one of the most problematic grains for horses. Also if you were only feeding him 1-2 times a day &/or big meals then the potential problems of feeding this diet are even greater and he would likely have been getting little goodness from it either. It's possible that this feed is what effectively caused him to starve.

It's also quite possible that a nutritional imbalance/lack could have been at fault. A healthy horse in little or no work, with as much good hay & grass as wanted shouldn't generally need any supplementing for bulk/calories at all, particularly a foal still suckling. But nutrition is a different story & most horses will be deficient in a range of nutrients unless supplemented. This can lead to serious illness.

I would look up a good equine nutritionist or nutritional service - pref. independent of feed co's - for advice & info, rather than just asking horse owners, forums, etc. I personally use a feed analysis & info service/program called feedXL.com & find it fantastic. Not least the nutritionist 'on call' to answer any questions. There are plenty of others out there, on line or otherwise, if you're interested but this one doesn't suit.

If the mare was also malnourished, then it may have been wise to separate them & wean him, for her sake, but otherwise he should not have been separated from her & unable to nurse whenever he needed to. To keep him separated from her over night would have caused her to produce a lot less milk, as it's a 'supply & demand' thing. Locking a horse up for extended periods is also not a good general practice either(tho I know sometimes necessary), as they need free movement, and it could have been this that caused him to stiff & 'listless'.

Regarding your story of the farrier, I would also recommend you get a trailer asap, so you can take your horse to the relevant 'experts' when necessary, for one. But especially as horses should be trimmed every 4-6 weeks to keep them in shape, it's also a good idea to do your homework on that subject too, and it's possible that you & your husband may want to learn to do that work yourself(sounds like it may be a lucrative 'hobby' in your area too!). Unfortunately, like most subjects, there is not just one simple opinion to learn, but conflicting ideas to work out. The best you can do is learn as much as you can from various sources, analyse the info & pros & cons of each, and make your own decisions. I suggest hoofrehab.com is one of the best places to start, and has heaps of good, well researched info. Of course if you're considering doing the job yourself, nothing's as good as hands-on help, so I'd advise getting to a clinic or such, doing a course, or at least finding a *good* farrier/hoof care practitioner to give you a few lessons to begin with.

So sorry for the loss of your baby!   Sometimes bad things happen even to those of us who are totally prepared to bring a foal into the world.  In time, maybe you will breed your mare again.  Having a foal and raising it to be a useful, loving horse is a great experience.  Some of the best horses I ever owned were the ones that I bred, raised, and trained myself. 
 
Buy yourself a pair of hoof nippers, a hoof knife, and a rasp, and learn to use them yourself!   I trim my own most of the time.  Another idea that might work for you is to have all the local folks who need hooves done, meet at one person's place, so the farrier only has to drive to one house.  If a farrier can do 10 horses at one place, he is more likely to want to show up and even give a discount. 
 
 

[quote=annie234]   but i do have a friend who will let me use his trailer if i need it.
 
I guess I will be the only one who won't blow smoke up your rear and tell you "it's not your fault" the colt died.  If you had access to a trailer and did not take him to a vet clinic when you saw he was not thriving you are guilty of neglect.  Poor colt.

[quote=theoldgreymare]

[quote=annie234]   but i do have a friend who will let me use his trailer if i need it.

I guess I will be the only one who won't blow smoke up your rear and tell you "it's not your fault" the colt died.  If you had access to a trailer and did not take him to a vet clinic when you saw he was not thriving you are guilty of neglect.  Poor colt.


I think that's really unfair to say, maybe she didn't have the money to even pay a vet... and it's not like she even knew her mare was pregnant when she bought her, it's not like she had the 11 months to learn and read and study and prepare herself. She never asked for it and things just didn't work out. Your horse could run into a fence and slice a major artery is it YOUR fault? I guess it would be since you didn't have adequate fencing, no...

 to old grey mare, you are right. no denying it here. i know what happened was my fault. i should have been better prepared. thanks for your  honesty.
 
 
everyone else thanks for all the replys and suggestions i am considering all of what you wrote and appreciate the kidness and advice. . thanks,annie 234.

Blow smoke?  I think the title of this thread says it all.  Hindsight's 20/20. 
I have a friend who didn't know which one of her mares had the baby!!  She kept the baby with the wrong mare and it died, of course.  That kind of stuff haunts you forever.  BUT it goes to show that making babies isn't to be taken lightly.  I think it should be left to the pro's. 

I have an Arab breeder friend who's purchased two expensive breedings and refuses to use them because of the economy.  Her horses have sold for $35K.