confidence and leader issues....on my part:)

The best way is to work with a "dead broke" horse. get use to riding them, get comfortable.
And the best way to get unnervous about getting bucked off is getting bucked off a few times.

As you guys work through issues you will have more confidence in yourself.
 
If you can---pick little things to work on that might cause a little issue with him but something you know you can work on and correct him.  This will help you with confidence and help him realize you are the leader.  I would start with ground work stuff.
 
As far as confidence riding.   I was way more rattled than I realized from my flying dump with Cane.  It was getting Jake (deadbroke, but will test you) given back to me that helped more than anything.  Riding something that you feel will help you with your overall riding ability is great. 
 
I will say Hoyt-I am getting a little older now and really don't want to be bucked off, I just don't bounce like I used to.  BUT- I pick and choose my battles and pay attention more to the messages the horse is sending me so I can be more proactive in dealing with issues before they become a full blown temper tantrum.

This is some practical advice that I believe in, and have heard it many times from people that have taught me:
 
1. Buy a horse that fits your level of skill and comfort level!
 
2.  Make sure the horse is trained for what you want to use him for.
 
On and on.....but the main point is number 1.  Don't let yourself to get too attached to a horse that just isn't doing is job for you....YOUR safety is too important, and the riding experience should be fun! Not a struggle.
 
There are so many good horses out there, just start slow, and as you become a stronger ride, and develop more confidence, you can move up in horse as you see fit.
 
Good luck...just be careful.  Your best bet is to give 100% and hope it works out. Don't let the horse control you.  Know your limits, and make smart decisions!
 
Amen!
 
Eric

Have you considered some natural horsemanship training? My confidence has gotten shaken by a few mishaps on horseback, like falling off when my horse heard a loud noise behind him and he took off, a mare who was herd sour and balked when I asked her to leave the farm, and a filly who tries to pull away from me when I lead her. I went to a mini clinic put on by a Parelli enthusiast, and have started applying that training to my 2 y.o. filly. I also read the Clinton Anderson articles in Horse & Rider and have his videos. One of Anderson's big lessons is make the desired behavior easy and the bad behavior hard. In other words, if your gelding is being naughty when you try to ride him out, let him go to where he wants, but then make him hustle. Then move him in the direction he wants to go, and if he still is cranky about it, repeat the previous step. You will need to do this until he realizes walking away from his desired spot allows him to stop working. Does that make sense? Good luck!
Jamie

This might sound crazy but.... first let me say I rode bareback growing up and THANK GOODNESS for muscle memory!  (and I fell off a TON of times, mostly jumping)  Ive taken more lessons than I could ever count and consider myself a decent, secure rider.  HOWEVER, my horse Zag just scared me.  I didn't know how far he would go.  I was older, less bouncy BUT my legs just aren't what they used to be for riding out the buck.  Basically I wasn't sure .... it scared me.  I decided I was just going to have to push him through his bad behavior SOOOOO what I did was get an australian saddle.  It gave me just enough additional security (remember I'm strictly English - no horn).  Anyway, the hornless Aussie was perfect and it only took once for him to realize the game was up.  I just steeled myself and MADE him straighten up.  Once I did that he stopped trying to rattle me (or whatever it was he was doing).  Also, getting him away from home and on the trail did wonders for us.  If he's acting up and I have a crop I will definitely use it but you have to be familiar with one.....  Sometimes a good slap will work wonders.

im so tired i cant see straight so some of this post might not make sense,
i am a little more confident on diablo than i was and can even ride him bareback trotting through a barrel pattern on a good day when im with my riding buddies, i've even ridden him out into other pastures bareback on good days by myself but i didnt ask him to go faster than a fast walk, i think with me its just finding the confidence, it depends how i feel if that day is going to be a good day, it also depends on him, he is for the most part very willing and intelligent, he's also stubborn and easily excited and makes me mad enough to kill someone sometimes but other times he makes me melt with those big brown eyes i dnt know we have a weird relationship,
thank you everyone for your posts!