General Cane Updated (5/22)

I understand where you are comming from Tanya. Completely. I do agree with Shiver though. If you cannot place him where you know he will be sfe and well treated for the rest of his life it may be the next option unless you can afford to have him and not ride. I have a close friend who rescued a thoroughbred and has gone through the same thing. He has tried for 4 years to retrain and work with Monte but still no avail. His horse just has a loose screw in his head and isn't safe for anyone. He was euthanized for that reason. No matter what anyone says it is up to you to decide and I am sure tht you will make the best decision for everyone involved. Lots a love your way..

I think you are thinking about this but I want to make it clear. He is 6 now. He potentially has 20 year or more to live. If you aren't willing or able to make that commitment when we all know that you love him so much, how many people do you think will? Almost all people get horses for riding. Not to sit in there pastures to look at. ( some do but not many) And everyone thinks that they are going to get some troubled horse and be able to turn it around. (some do but not many) 20 years is a long time for a unridable horse.....Can you trust that one good family is willing to make that commitment when you aren't/can't, and you are an experienced horse woman..... Again just my 2 cents.

Ok, I'll shut up now. Thanks guys for agreeing. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this way and isn't afraid to say it. 


Have you asked your vet her OP? I would love to know what she thinks.

Ok - I will absolutely support whatever you decide... I am certain we all will.
 
However, I am with an earlier rec by Hunt.  I will also help pay for the transport to HG - if HG is good with that.   I know you didn't ask for financial help, but this is just my way of making my statement.
 
It is obvious to me if this horse has a chance - you need someone else's assistance.  I hope you don't take offense to that.  I really, really don't mean it that way.  Get some assistance and then they can help you takeover - this is done all of the time.
 
This horse was screwed. Not by you, but by the trainer.   In my life I have been screwed and rescued by others and I have turned out to be pretty darn good (well I think so!)
 
Please - why not consider this option?  I do not - at all - want to pull on your heart strings - but that is my vote.  My offer stands too.

I said I wouldn't say anything... I guess I lied.

4my, I hear you and respect what you have to say. I'm not arguing with you but I wanted to add because I'm not sure that you know. That Cane is at the trainers now. And has been for a while. He also has been at the trainers before his injury. So he has had tons of training for extended time by other trainers. 

The only reason I added this, and I know that Tonya could have, is I just didn't want her to feel like she needed to defend (not that that is what you want from her) her reasons for coming to the end of what she can do. I actually agree. That you need to give a horse every oppertunity. Retrain them and try again! I don't take putting a horse, that isn't old or lame down lightly. I just think that people think of there pets as humans. And they are not. My op.

On a side note.... just an interesting fact I was told, but never verified, That people are more likely to give to an animal rescue or an animal support group than to a human one. I just thought that it was interesting that more people would part with there money for pets but not as many for humans.... again, I never verified it. It was just something I once watched on like 20/20.

I am here guys, not ignoring you, just processing.
You guys have been great giving me OP's that are honest and not critical and I truly appreciate that.  I also appreciate the way that we are discussing this and night fighting or being overly critical of other ideas.

Some of you may remember how I wrestled doing the second surgery in Oct. and that was because I knew then that Cane had mental issues and even sound would he be fixable?

Here are the cold facts- ( I usually keep this stuff private as I think it is not every one's business, but since you have all shared in this journey with me I think I owe it to you).

I paid $2000 for Cane and have spent about $3500 on training for him to date with the first #^%@%#&% trainer and with what Wanda is charging me (which is very cheap).  I have spent $11,350 on medical for him in the past year ($7500 was paid for by ins.).  This amount does not include, fuel and other medical supplies that I keep on hand and have had to replenish.  Not to mention the hours of hand walking, ultrasound therapy, brushing, massaging-you name it.

He needs Cosequin ASU- which I have found for $145 for a 45 day supply and his feet trimmed every 6 weeks.  So finding a "retirement" home would require someone who is willing to take on a little added expense- as he gets older he will need more, fact told to me by 3 vets.  I am looking at 20 years of a pasture pet who is heartbroken when I do something with Jake and he is in the pasture.  I have a goal of going to Congress in 5-7 years.  So having 2 pasture pets (I plan to retire Jake in 2-3 yrs) means I would have 2 horses to look at, but not ride. 
Could I send him to someone else, yes but at what point do I draw the line financially for practicality sake?  What if he ended up in the wrong hands?  I could never live myself?  But on the other hand why put a 6 yr old horse down.

I do know of some rescue around.  I have helped with some and donated to some, but am not comfortable using them for numerous reasons.  I have a dear friend who runs a private rescue/placement(some of you may remember she helped me last fall with two horses) but she even said most people want to commit for 3-5 yrs, not 20.  Also most want to feel like they are giving something to a horse that has truly accomplished something or been through something miraculous. 

I again want to say I appreciate all the ideas, thoughts and support.  I will keep you posted on how things are doing and what my decision is.  I can honestly say right now I am not leaning in any direction I am weighing everything out.  Hubby had told me it is my decision, but at some point financially he will not assit me anymore, and he truly loves Cane and is a HUGE animal lover.

Thanks again everyone.

OK...I'm going to say this...but you gotta remember that I usually think and feel differently than most.  (I can *never* go by my gut feelings!)  And I'm laying it on the line, here.
Let me say...you are not MARRIED to Cain.  I had to finally come to this conclusion myself  with Jewel.  I figure...life's a 2 way street, and if the horse doesn't want to cooperate, there's not much more I can do.  That's when The Lady came into the picture, and she's settled in well, now.  Some days can be the 'catching game', but she pretty well knows now that she'll never be hurt.
Fortunately, Jewel went to a good home.  She's a barrell horse now..and is doing VERy well, but I know I can't 'call the shots' or interfere with anything they do with her in the future.  (But then again...what do I *want* to 'control'??)  I figure...she'da had a great forever home here, if she just would cooperate.  She wouldn't...so.....
Life is too short.  Get what you need.  Lord knows, you tried...and tried...and tried...
I figure...in today's world, if we have our health and a job, we should count our blessings!

Tanya,
I really believe EVERYONE here will support any decision you make. And it is yours to make, not anyone else's,,,, Heck, I am in on the transport if that would be something you wanted,,, I could possibly provide a forever home as a pasture pet if need be. I know you don't know me, but want you to be aware we want to offer you options, or SUPPORT with whatever you do. Please don't beat yourself up, you have done so much for him, more than alot of others would do,, Gah, hope I am making sense, we are here for you!!!

I don't know if this is an option, but we chose it with a gelding who had glaucom and went blind but was otherwise still healthy.  We donated him to a facility that uses healthy, unrideable but otherwise manageable horses as blood donors for other horses.   He has passed the Rainbow Ridge now as he was 25 when we donated him but he got to live in beautiful pastures with other horses and was brought in to donate blood periodically.  They guaranteed to never sell him, that they would ethically euthanize him when he was no longer able to be used.
 
I was in your shoes once with a 5 yr. old gelding who developed navicular and randomly reared and flipped over backwards.  We gave him a darn good try with meds, etc. and finally had to make the decision to end his life peacefully.  I wasn't going to sell him and let him hurt someone, we couldn't figure out what caused his issues, never did it when we were trying him out and only once in a while but decided our lives were more valuable than his ultimately.
 
Hang in there!

A few years ago we gave my husbands horse away for free.  He had hoof issues (pretty pigeon toed on the front that caused issues if he was not trimmed right) and he was a nervous high-strung horse undersaddle.  On the ground he was a sweetheart, but under saddle he was just too much for my husband.  I didn't even want to get on him either. 
 
The home we gave him too had more experience than us - she used to be a trainer and her husband was a retired farrier.  It worked out perfectly!  They love him and he is used for trails and does great for them. 
 
My husband - well, that was pretty close to his dream horse.  But now he has a horse that is the wrong breed & color and no where near what his "dream" horse was.  But this horse is mellow and much more suitable and he is enjoying riding a lot more.
 
So I guess what I am saying is that if it is not working out - after 3 years, when is it enough? 

Kali, with 2 extra kids, 2 additional large dogs, 3 more cats (one with newborn kittens) at MY house, when boywonder gets home I may need to come be a pasture pet at your house!
 
Tanya... big hugs and don't give up hope.  The right answer may be what you least expect.

Shiver helped open my eyes as I have not been aware of the entire situation.  Tough one here - not easy to make a decision on. 
 
I have watched your write and learned from you.  You are one great person.  You will make the right decision and you know what?  We will be right by your side.  I can tell you are a fighter, I totally trust you.  I PM'd you just a moment ago.  Let me know please how I might help. 

Thanks again guys for all the support and encouragement again.

I will say that time is time and while it can heal wounds and fix things, when is too much time?  When is my time more valuable and/or more rewarding spent elsewher?  These are things I ponder each day.

Hubby and I talked again last night for a long, long, time.  Hence my headache and being overtired today.  He reminded me of a few things, he gave me a list:
1.  I am a great mom, who puts her child first.
2.  I am a overly caring person who has a hard time saying NO.  (he gave examples)
3.  I truly care about horses, but always try to be practical (he said I need more work on the parctical part)
4.  He has watched me ride for almost 14 years no and I do not relax on Cane as I do not trust him.
5.  He has seen me ride horses with no fear and know I would pull a "man from snowy river stunt" on them and not think twice.
6.  He has been told by more than a few people that I am a "heck of a horse hand" and these are people who don't give compliments lightly.
7.  As much as I want to I can not fix everything.
8.  Cane dumped me twice, and he had said if there was a 3rd time he was going down the road, no if's and or but's. 

He then looked at me and said I needed to put my hopes, dreams and goals first.  I always put what is best for everyone else ahead of mine and I need to put me first for a change.

So all that being said.  Cane is staying with Wanda for 2 more weeks to see what if any progress can be made and I will make a decision then.  I will also go down and work with him to see what I think.

Thanks again guys, you have been great.  So let's all live in limbo land for a few weeks.  I do not want to rush to any decision.  I figure it is has been 3 years what is a few more weeks???

I think that's a very realist and good plan  

Sounds like a plan!  Sounds like you and hubby had a good talk and he said a few things you needed to hear.

I'm very impressed with your decition dprocessing. You are thinking through this! And not rushing to any one decition. But have a realistic open mind about all the possibilites. Pats Tonya on the back. It will be OK

I wa thinking about this on my way to work this morning. I was thinking about how we ALL get so upset about the slaughter issue. And wish that more owners would be more resopnsible. You, in my find are being responsible. You are looking out for all party's. And are preventing him form ending up in the wrong hands. No matter what your decition. And to me that is responsible horse ownership! 

Got to go. No time for edit.